Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Ron Swanson Wants Me to Have a Hammergun.


 Last night I had a dream (Really, no joke. I actually had this dream...) wherein Nick Offerman, in full-on "Parks & Rec" Ron Swanson mode, is showing me a sleek and gorgeous shotgun, a hammergun, of course, that he had made by hand. As he is pointing out all the details on the gun, Nick/Ron is beseeching me, in his deadpan Ron Swanson way, to either buy it, take it, or go find a hammergun of my own to hunt with (I can't quite remember which it was...) because real men of taste and dignity use such weapons.

It was, well, a little weird. Now I have this feeling that somehow, I must go find myself a nice, shootable hammergun, which is laughable, of course, because the only way I could afford an exposed-hammer double gun right now would be to buy two fifty-buck pawnshop H&R's and then weld them together.

Anyway, it was a strange dream, and to the best of my knowledge the first time I've ever dreamed of either exposed-hammer shotguns or Ron Swanson, even though I greatly admire both. Interpret it as you will. Interestingly enough, Nick Offerman, who is a screamingly funny guy, and also happens to be married to screamingly funny gal (and Oklahoman) Megan Mullally, is also a very talented woodworker, with his own LA woodshop.

Pretty cool stuff there, including a lot of projects involving beautiful slabbed timber, something I'd love to do myself if I could ever afford one of those small portable sawmills I've wanted for a while. So even though Nick Offerman probably couldn't build me a hammergun from scratch (Although I'm sure Ron Swanson could), I bet he could re-stock it.

Offerman also has a new book out entitled Paddle Your Own Canoe. Seems amusing. Haven't read it, but I'll keep my eyes open for it at the library. Can't buy it. I'm saving up for a hammergun...

13 comments:

  1. Hi Chad: I've been following your blog for a while and haven't said much. I think I commented once in response to a post you did about Iris Dement. I recommended that you listen to her version of Merle Haggard's Big City from the Tulare Dust album. At the time, it wasn't available on line. Now it is -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1EZ_NdyAZA. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. If you like Nick Offerman, he gave a great interview on the Nerdist podcast http://www.nerdist.com/2013/03/nerdist-podcast-nick-offerman/ I can't blame Ron Swanson or Nick Offerman for my dream of a James Woodward hammer gun. I don't know where it came from, but I can't shake it. Keep up the good work. John

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    1. Hi John, thanks for the link. I really like Offerman, he's a funny guy.

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  2. Chad, are we seeing a trend? The Office, Parks and Rec... hard to guess what might come next? Do you need to get out and hunt a little more?

    I sort of like the idea of welding a pair of H&R Toppers together, by the way.

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    1. Well, it's opening morning of deer gun season and I'm here drinking coffee and watching the kids because my wife's at a conference, so yes...

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    2. Ouch. Now there's something I don't miss about having little ones. Ah well... this, too, shall pass.

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  4. He has a multi-part series on youtube showing how to build a canoe from scratch. The man is legit.
    Swanson is a fantastic character, and the absurdity of his Paul Bunyan like qualities make him endearing.
    I ordered a poster of the "Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness" for an area at my work where we constantly have interns "working". I reference it often.

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  5. I don't have any comments on hammer gun, but what's with the pop-up ad I get every time I come here these days? Goin' commercial on us?

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    1. Really? A pop-up? I have no idea why. I'll investigate...

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  6. I get a little pop-up screen in the lower right corner; today it's a Walmart ad, then some weird thing with a crowd of people with strange names like Earl Sweatshirt and Geno the Creator, but the screen dropped off before I saw what the ad was for. I haven't tried logging out and back in again to see if that makes it go away.

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  7. I had the same experience over at my internet digs today- a pop up in the lower right corner that I didn't ask for and that I'm not getting paid for. Maybe Google is trying to make Blogger pay a little better.

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  8. Buy "two fifty-buck pawnshop H&R's and then weld them together."

    There's a good series of blog posts. YouTube videos too. I see possibilities here.

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  9. Today it was Best Buy and then some attractive young lady in a short skirt walking along a darkened neighborhood. "Five" and some other verbiage popped up, but then the thing went dead before it got to the end. Chad, the least they could do is chip you off a few bucks if they're gonna run ads on your site!

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