You've got to laugh at the crazy, or it'll just make you cry...
Here's an e-mail that I - and I'm sure a lot of other people - received this morning. I've got firewood to cut today so I'm not going to spend a lot (actually, any) of my time and energy railing against these fucking morons, or refuting the excrement they're spewing, or pondering what their true motives are, except to say that rarely have I ever received anything in my inbox so fundamentally dumb or so fantastically false on so many levels. I've been solicited with Nigerian 419 scams and penile pump advertisements more believable than "The Center For Consumer Freedom", which by the way, neither I nor I'm sure any of you had never heard of before this morning.
Short version? This is a blatantly transparent and cynical stunt from a shadowy, obscure group of far, far fringe-right tinfoil hat wingnuts who, like virtually all of these alleged foundations, are bankrolled by the industries, corporations and entities who have a vested monetary and political interest in furthering the agendas these bought-and-paid-for, dog-and-pony dipshits are peddling; agendas that are almost always completely at odds with the interests of the rest of us. It's that goddamned simple, folks. Groups like this are nothing more than bullshit fronts for those who are threatened by accountability, truth, and due democratic process.
But don't take my word for it. Read for yourselves...
New Website Exposes ‘Green Decoys’ Environmental Activists
Today, the Center for Consumer Freedom launched a new website aimed at exposing self-anointed sportsmen’s advocacy groups for what they really are: Radical environmentalists with a hidden far-left agenda. Specifically, the website focuses on five such “sportsmen’s” groups that purport to speak on behalf of America’s hunters and anglers, revealing an interconnected web of personnel and funding sources notorious for their support of radical environmentalism.
The website (available here) includes a detailed report on the following organizations:
- Theodore Roosevelt Conservation Partnership
- Trout Unlimited
- Izaak Walton League of America
- Bull Moose Sportsmen’s Alliance
- Backcountry Hunters and Anglers
Please let me know if you are a member of the media and would like to further discuss this issue. I will be happy to connect you with our senior research analyst, Will Coggin, who authored the report.
Center for Consumer Freedom
Uh, ummm....yeah.....so, uh, tell me again, just who the fuck are you guys?
From their website... (bold mine)
Who funds you guys? How about some “full disclosure”?
The Center for Consumer Freedom is supported by restaurants, food companies and thousands of individual consumers. From farm to fork, from urban to rural, our friends and supporters include businesses, their employees, and their customers.The Center is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization. We file regular statements with the Internal Revenue Service, which are open to public inspection.Many of the companies and individuals who support the Center financially have indicated that they want anonymity as contributors. They are reasonably apprehensive about privacy and safety in light of the violence and other forms of aggression some activists have adopted as a “game plan” to impose their views, so we respect their wishes.
That may be the most interesting interpretation of "full disclosure" I've ever seen. And it pretty much tells you all you need to know right there, doesn't it? Hmmm, who do you think would be threatened by the "far left agendas" of such obviously radical groups as...Trout Unlimited or Backcountry Hunters and Anglers? Certainly not those who would stand to profit from the exact opposite of what all those groups are trying to achieve?
Or maybe it's all true: Maybe the Center For Consumer Freedom has bravely blown the lid on these groups and their insidious plot for, uh....whatever the fuck evil plans they're trying to achieve? That "far left agenda" isn't too clearly spelled out now, is it? Is it clean water? Clean air? Huntable wildlife, fishable fish, habitable habitat? Wilderness areas? A precious few unspoiled public places for us to enjoy? Must be! Tree-hugging, anti-free market, patchouli-reeking creeping Socialism, all of it!
Holy shit! I just remembered that I was talking on the phone just yesterday to a friend of mine who works for TU. I had no idea that sneaky sumbitch was a leftist commie! Well, there's one pinko who just got deleted off'n my speed dial...
Thank you, Center for Consumer Freedom, for providing me with my "Ignorant Dumbass Joke of the Day" because that is, undeniably, your target demographic. You know the garbage you spew isn't true. I know the garbage you spew isn't true. It's just a dog whistle for the uninformed masses, an opportunistic troll meant to reel in a few suckers. Hopefully, most people will see right through it. Despite my natural pessimism, I still hold out out hope that the majority of us can still recognize horseshit when we smell it. So in conclusion, Mr. Banks Woodruff, Mr. Will Coggin, and the rest of the propoganda machine at the "Center for Comsumer Freedom", I give you and your ilk a hale and hearty "Fuck Off" as I leave to go cut firewood on this fine Thursday morning.