Thursday, January 30, 2014

A Little Thursday Morning Bats**t Crazy...

You've got to laugh at the crazy, or it'll just make you cry...

Here's an e-mail that I - and I'm sure a lot of other people - received this morning. I've got firewood to cut today so I'm not going to spend a lot (actually, any) of my time and energy railing against these fucking morons, or refuting the excrement they're spewing, or pondering what their true motives are, except to say that rarely have I ever received anything in my inbox so fundamentally dumb or so fantastically false on so many levels. I've been solicited with Nigerian 419 scams and penile pump advertisements more believable than "The Center For Consumer Freedom", which by the way, neither I nor I'm sure any of you had never heard of before this morning.

Short version? This is a blatantly transparent and cynical stunt from a shadowy, obscure group of far, far fringe-right tinfoil hat wingnuts who, like virtually all of these alleged foundations, are bankrolled by the industries, corporations and entities who have a vested monetary and political interest in furthering the agendas these bought-and-paid-for, dog-and-pony dipshits are peddling; agendas that are almost always completely at odds with the interests of the rest of us. It's that goddamned simple, folks. Groups like this are nothing more than bullshit fronts for those who are threatened by accountability, truth, and due democratic process.

But don't take my word for it. Read for yourselves...

New Website Exposes ‘Green Decoys’ Environmental Activists

Good morning,

Today, the Center for Consumer Freedom launched a new website aimed at exposing self-anointed sportsmen’s advocacy groups for what they really are: Radical environmentalists with a hidden far-left agenda. Specifically, the website focuses on five such “sportsmen’s” groups that purport to speak on behalf of America’s hunters and anglers, revealing an interconnected web of personnel and funding sources notorious for their support of radical environmentalism.

The website (available here) includes a detailed report on the following organizations:

  • Theodore Roosevelt Conservation Partnership
  • Trout Unlimited
  • Izaak Walton League of America
  • Bull Moose Sportsmen’s Alliance
  • Backcountry Hunters and Anglers

Please let me know if you are a member of the media and would like to further discuss this issue. I will be happy to connect you with our senior research analyst, Will Coggin, who authored the report.

Kind regards,

Banks Woodruff
Center for Consumer Freedom
(202) 463-7112

Uh,, uh, tell me again, just who the fuck are you guys?

 From their website... (bold mine)

Who funds you guys? How about some “full disclosure”?
The Center for Consumer Freedom is supported by restaurants, food companies and thousands of individual consumers. From farm to fork, from urban to rural, our friends and supporters include businesses, their employees, and their customers.The Center is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization. We file regular statements with the Internal Revenue Service, which are open to public inspection.Many of the companies and individuals who support the Center financially have indicated that they want anonymity as contributors. They are reasonably apprehensive about privacy and safety in light of the violence and other forms of aggression some activists have adopted as a “game plan” to impose their views, so we respect their wishes.

That may be the most interesting interpretation of "full disclosure" I've ever seen. And it pretty much tells you all you need to know right there, doesn't it? Hmmm, who do you think would be threatened by the "far left agendas" of such obviously radical groups as...Trout Unlimited or Backcountry Hunters and Anglers?  Certainly not those who would stand to profit from the exact opposite of what all those groups are trying to achieve?

Or maybe it's all true: Maybe the Center For Consumer Freedom has bravely blown the lid on these groups and their insidious plot for, uh....whatever the fuck evil plans they're trying to achieve? That "far left agenda" isn't too clearly spelled out now, is it? Is it clean water? Clean air? Huntable wildlife, fishable fish, habitable habitat? Wilderness areas? A precious few unspoiled public places for us to enjoy? Must be! Tree-hugging, anti-free market, patchouli-reeking creeping Socialism, all of it!

Holy shit! I just remembered that I was talking on the phone just yesterday to a friend of mine who works for TU. I had no idea that sneaky sumbitch was a leftist commie! Well, there's one pinko who just got deleted off'n my speed dial...

Thank you, Center for Consumer Freedom, for providing me with my "Ignorant Dumbass Joke of the Day" because that is, undeniably, your target demographic. You know the garbage you spew isn't true. I know the garbage you spew isn't true. It's just a dog whistle for the uninformed masses, an opportunistic troll meant to reel in a few suckers. Hopefully, most people will see right through it. Despite my natural pessimism, I still hold out out hope that the majority of us can still recognize horseshit when we smell it. So in conclusion, Mr. Banks Woodruff, Mr. Will Coggin, and the rest of the propoganda machine at the "Center for Comsumer Freedom", I give you and your ilk a hale and hearty "Fuck Off" as I leave to go cut firewood on this fine Thursday morning.  


  1. Got the same email. Thanks for the laugh, Chad.

    By the way, have you joined BHA yet? If not, do it. We need you.

    1. No, Tovar, I haven't yet, and I need to. Sometimes I'm good at making these grand declarative statements, but not so good at actually following up on them. Terminal absent-mindedness. I've been meaning to join for a while now, but this is enough impetus for me to get off my ass and do it...

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. Welcome to the fold, Chad. As for the self-dealing "foundation" (seriously, take a look at the "centers" major consulting contract and who gets paid - twice - by the "center" to do the same work), I think the real impact is educating folks out there about the organizations actually doing good work and making a difference. I'm proud to say that I'm on the board of one of those organizations and a long-standing member of two others (really need to add the other two to the list). The why is easy: those organizations and the sportsmen (and women) who are members have done and continue to do more positive for hunting, fishing, trapping, the wildlife, and the habitats all require, than anything the "center" or the few misguided souls who agree with them could ever accomplish. BHA, TU, TRCP, BMSA, and IWLA can't buy that type of free publicity and can't self-generate the positive response that the "center" creates for all of those groups. We really ought to thank them, but I'm almost positive that they wouldn't understand why.

  2. Looks like the folks who want you to order an extra large fries and soda with your quadruple cheese burger.

  3. Man, you gave them a hell of a lot more thought than I did. I have to say, though, I'm getting sick to death of these divisive initiatives, especially when they're driving a wedge between outdoorsmen. Sometimes have to wonder what the real end game is.

  4. I'm already a TU member, and just found four more groups to join. Thanks!

  5. They obviously need more funding, they missed RMEF, DU, Pheasants Unlimited and Nature Conservancy.

  6. I am on my way next month to Backcountry Hunters and Anglers' national rendezvous in Denver, where we'll talk about guns and planning our radical agenda to replace feedlot cows with free-range elk.

  7. Damn, Chad, well done. Not only that, but you saved me the trouble of writing about this. Hope you don't mind if I share your page ...


  8. Can you say Koch Brothers.......

  9. If Theodore Roosevelt were alive these guys would call him a sissy, vegetarian communist. Come to think of it, that's what the big-industry stooges DID call TR when he was alive.

  10. I knew it all along.. Pinko commies trying to preserve the natural order we all depend on ahead of modern corporate interests! Looks like I'm voting for Kodos!

  11. Maybe someone will stick a trout in their tailpipe. Pretty radical.

  12. You know you're successful when crazy turns their potato guns towards you. It's a new calendar year. Time to re-commit to these groups both financially and in terms of volunteering.

  13. Yep, apparently these jokers have Koch brothers ties. Shocking...

  14. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids and that stupid dog!

  15. Thanks Chad and stoked to see these comments. Proud to say, I work for TRCP and impressed our polital merit intimidates an organization calling themselves "Center for Consumer Freedom." Cheers, Mia - Oregon Field Representative for TRCP

  16. should've known those backcountry hunter and angler hippies and water commies at trout unlimited were trying to brainwash me!!!!

    ha. enough with the sarcasm. i'm a proud member of backcountry hunters and anglers as well as trout unlimited and i 100% stand behind the work they do