Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Oh, So You Voted? Aren't You Special...

Yes, this is yet another retread rewind from the past. But it's election day, and the smug, self-important bullshit level is, as the Spinal Tap cliche goes, cranked to eleven right now. If I have one more asshole ask me - in that pedantic, looking-down-the-nose voice reserved for the truly insufferable - if I was planning on voting today, I think I'll run screaming into the woods, never to return. I posted this blog earlier in the year. I was in a mood. Still am...

Here's my personal style of participatory democracy: I choose to participate in elections - be they at the local, state or national level -  in which I believe my vote or my candidate can make a difference, even if it is likely or even inevitable that my candidate or my cause will lose. Conversely, I decline to participate in elections in which I feel there are no candidates or issues that I can in good conscience support. It sounds quite reasonable and pragmatic to me.

But it's an election year, which means I must contend, once again, with the Civics Nazis. You know, those insufferably smug, self-righteous and utterly delusional twits who fervently believe the act of voting - in and of itself - is a star-spangled holy sacrament that we are duty-bound to engage in regardless - completely regardless - of whether we happen to like, believe in, tolerate, or find even remotely palatable any of the candidates.

You know who I'm talking about; the ones who wear that "I Voted" sticker like a talismanic confirmation of their patriotic wonderfulness. The ones who make it a point to ask if you, too, furthered the bright, shining beacon of democracy by voting, and when informed that "No, in point of fact I didn't vote in (insert election here) because I believe all the choices offered me to be corrupt shite bags completely antithetical to my worldview" immediately puff themselves up, wag their fingers and say (as if the thought were original) "Well, then you have no right to complain, do you?"

Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do have a right to complain, asshole. It’s you who needs to keep ‘yer effin’ trap shut. Another profane and prescient gem from the lost, lamented and utterly brilliant George Carlin (and if you must be told that George Carlin is NSFW then I pity you. I truly do...)

And for your information, no, I don't plan on voting today...because I did it last week. Ba dum ba!


  1. Auberon Waugh said that wanting to be elected to tell other people what to do is perfect evidence of a candidate's unworthiness for office.

    I don't agree 100% with the late St George but I think I do with you. Nor did I tick every box on MY ballot...

  2. Nobody's business but my own who I voted for or whether I voted or not... but I've got to agree 100% with your position (just like I did when this first came around). It seems the utmost idiocy to perpetuate a corrupt system for the sake of "patriotism". Put a pair of losers in front of me, and I'll turn my back on both of them.

    "You can choose not to decide, but you still have made a choice."